Well I couldn't post last night 'cause I wasn't feeling too good about the job. After another very successful night in the Sunset, and after the paperwork was done and everyone else went home, the Director and I talked about the Asst. Director position. The outcome wasn't at all what I expected, or hoped for. He told me it wasn't going to work out.

It had nothing to do with my abilities or potential, though. He knew I could do it, and we work extremely well together. The bottom line is, he also knew the time requirements would not work for me, and he was right. The job requires 80-90 hours a week and that is simply far too much working for me to ever feel comfortable with. And that doesn't even get into the pay, which is absolutely ludicrously low. 24k a year is practically poverty level! Okay, well, maybe not quite that, but you know what I mean.

I'm annoyed at the whole situation, frankly. I want to do this. I want to be able to do this. I'm not happy that the company I work for is not able to provide a living wage for someone like me that is extremely passionate about the work and excels at it, but isn't willing to sacrifice everything in order to do it.

Perhaps I'm being naive. Maybe this is just how it goes in political grassroots organizing. Maybe no pay and endless hours are simply par for the course, but to me this seems rather extreme in both directions.

Choices are going to be have to made. My number one priority is my personal life. Lu and I need time to hang out and have fun. I want friends over for dinner, week night rock shows, time to read and write and go hang out with buddies for a poker game. There is simply no way I can work 90 hours a week, getting paid about $6 an hour.

But on the other hand, I've never had a job that I connected with so deeply. I love how gritty and real it is. I love being out on the street, talking to people about the issues. I love getting my team pumped up, being a leader and resource for them.

I have a lot to think about, I know, and I can only hope that good decisions, a supportive wife, and the wild froth of life will help me thread a true and rewarding path as the next few months play out.

I'm sticking around for the next week and a half for sure, but man, 4 nights a week just sucks!